||[Jun. 25th, 2007|02:23 pm]
internal cultivation through motion and presence
it's been an adventure, albeit an internal one. |
today is day 17 of my 21-day fast. no food. no dairy.
just water, juice, soymilk, and tea.
and lots of hsing qi meditation. lots of qigong practice.
this has been a greater and more profound purification than when i spent those months secluded in waimea canyon on kauai. this house provides enough ascetic comfort to make this practice virtually effortless, so i can focus on internal transformation with steady focus and calm mind. well, mostly calm.
the cleansing mantra meditation stirs up old pains, fears, desires, you name it. but then i am able to accept it all as it arises, and release it all as it runs its course.
Deep Surrender. Forgivenesss. Patience. Joy. Healing. Peace.
the energy current coursing inside me is strong, but not uncomfortable. my sensitivity to the physical and mental/emotional energy of others can at times be almost unreal. the projection of energy from my palms is much more intense, but somehow more gentle as well. less effort, more soothing, less invasive. unless my intention shifts to forcing things. but the distinction is a lot more clear.
i've had strangers comment on feeling warmth and a "sort of calming static charge-like presence" from just talking with me, which i guess is good, so long as i'm not emanating more than i'm storing. working on learning better methods of storing for effectiveness in nei dan (internal elixir) cultivation.
still work my job and teach the art during this period, as my physical energy has not diminished.
and realizing in a new way that the "surface-level" practices are anything but.
right now i really want to climb a tree. so i guess i will. =)
this house is my little urban hermitage. my oasis. i am grateful to be here.