|student becomes teacher
||[Jul. 14th, 2007|11:01 pm]
internal cultivation through motion and presence
as my best student now trains to become a teacher, i find myself reflecting deeply on the core essence of internal cultivation. i have never taught anyone the keys which i will now attempt to pass onto him. matters of competency, conduct, honesty, and clarity are easy to transmit. the tools of internal elixir are another matter entirely. |
he's not even ready for his second real test yet, but i know that his character and leadership will be of benefit to others. it already is.
i still remember the value of intense criticism, chastisement, and complete lack of encouragement given to me by my former teacher who goes by the name DaMo. at one point i almost said "f*** you!" and quit, which was exactly the brink he wanted to push me to. but then it clicked: i wasn't doing it for his approval, or anyone else's, for that matter. who i am is the deepest and most important motivation for what i do, and beyond that, only the techniques and skills matter. at the end of my days i will not blame others for what i failed to achieve in this life.
it was with that understanding that i was able to endure his worse. i never admitted this to anyone, but he even made me cry on one occasion.
he was my teacher then. today he is my friend and peer.
while i can be blunt and even critical at times, i am nothing like he was. and now, faced with imparting lessons i've never imparted before, i'm wondering if i haven't done a disservice to this student by not properly preparing his psyche for the discipline, endurance, and independence necessary for the long climb that so few succeed at making.
he is ultimately responsible for his own development, i know. but i still worry that perhaps i should have pushed harder in order to instill more psychological muscle. the higher levels are not easily attained, and many who have the keys never make it beyond the mediocre for lack of perseverance. knowledge means little in this game without strength, courage, and wisdom.
The clairvoyant may see forms which are elsewhere, but he cannot see the formless. The telepathic may communicate directly with the mind of another, but he cannot communicate with one who has achieved no-mind. The telekinetic may move an object without touching it, but he cannot move the intangible. Such abilities have meaning only in the realm of duality. Therefore, they are meaningless. Within the Great Oneness, though there is no such thing as clairvoyance, telepathy, or telekinesis, all things are seen, all things understood, all things forever in their proper places.
--Hua Hu Ching